Black people love Detroit. Comprising nearly 92 percent of the inhabitants of the 11th most populated city in the United States, Black people can take umbrage at any other city in America trying to classify themselves as the ultimate Black – or Chocolate city.
Detroit has a very colorful city council to represent the citizenry – even though many of those elected to protect the public interests are themselves currently under indictment for fraud, bribery and misuse of public funds – as they try and fight off massive job loss, rising crime rates ( most dangerous city in America), failing schools (Forty Schools closing) and the potential bulldozing of large sections of the city (another topic for Stuff Black People Don’t Like, for another time).
“Dragging down the average are homes that are long abandoned or foreclosed on that are selling for pennies on the dollar. Detroit already had the lowest market value houses in Michigan before the latest rounds of job losses at GM and other huge employers, market analysts say.”
Suffice it to say, Detroit is a thriving Black metropolis, a beacon and a veritable citadel for Black people’s crowning achievement in America and an example of what Black people can bring to other major cities throughout the nation.
Black people love Detroit, for it is their city and the epitome of change and hope that all cities can look forward to undergoing during the Kafkaesque transformation of America.
Detroit no longer has a major grocery chain and:
“No national grocery chain operates a store here. A lack of outlets that sell fresh produce and meat has led the United Food and Commercial Workers union and a community group to think about building a grocery store of its own.”
This void has left the fine citizens of Detroit with the major problem of how to acquire food. Thankfully, raccoon is filling that vacuum.
What Black people do not like though, is wasting good raccoon in the catacombs of the decaying, crumbling city that is Detroit. Raccoon is considered a delicacy in Detroit, a rare treat that is vital to nourishing Black people and enabling them to continue the cities meteoric rise to the top of the Green Revolution in America. White people might like LEED certification; Black people just like nature baby.
And in nature, anytime a raccoon passes away, the true urban hunter Glemie Dean Beasley – a 69-year-old retired truck driver – swoops in to cook it.
Travels with Charlie, reports:
“While economic times are tough across Michigan as its people slog through a difficult and protracted deindustrialization, Beasley remains upbeat.
Where one man sees a vacant lot, Beasley sees a buffet.
“Starvation is cheap,” he says as he prepares an afternoon lunch of barbecue coon and red pop at his west side home.”
The Raccoon raconteur continues:
“Coon or rabbit. God put them there to eat,” Beasley said….Hunting is prohibited within Detroit city limits and Beasley insists he does not do so. Still, he says that life in the city has gone so retrograde that he could easily feed himself with the wildlife in his backyard, which abuts an old cement factory.”
“This city is going back to the wild,” he says. “That’s bad for people but that’s good for me. I can catch wild rabbit and pheasant and coon in my backyard.
The saga of Detroit is encapsulated in the saga of Beasley. Knowing over 100 ways to cook Raccoon, Beasley is a thriving entrepreneur who sells his wares to the cities inhabitants. The city might not resemble the optimistic future imagined in the film Robocop, but Black people don’t like wasting raccoon in any environment.
Stuff Black People Don’t Like does not include Detroit, which is the ultimate Black people’s city, but it does including wasting Raccoon there, for any meal that can be found is a fine one indeed.