#91. Foreign Beer

All races on earth have found beer to be one of God’s many blessings ( with apologies to our Mormon friends, who refuse to drink for admirable, moral reasons) and few racial groups enjoy alcoholic libations like Black people.

What’s most interesting about Black people’s love of beer and other alcoholic beverages is that, according to Wikipedia, the ccontinent of Africa and it’s inhabitants never invented nor created any alcoholic drinks, unless they were in contact with practitioners of Islam, the Egyptians or the evil Europeans that might have left a barrel or two of inebriates behind.
You see, Black people have never actually invented nor accidentally discovered alcohol. They consume it in large quantities, but were it not for European people, Barack Obama, Henry Gates and James Crowley would have been consuming another beverage at their peace summit.
And one man Black person, Alabama state Representative Alvin Holmes (a Democrat from Montgomery), has a desire to keep all foreign beer out of the state of Alabama.
In Alabama, beer can only be sold if it contains less than six percent alcohol. A bill was proposed that would raise “…legal limit on the alcohol content of beer in the state. Last year, a legislator proposed raising that limit to 13.9 percent, thus permitting the sale of craft beers.”
Mr. Holmes found the proposal to be worth his oratory skills and with his elocutionary prowess, asked:

“What’s wrong with the beer we got? I mean, the beer we got drink pretty good, don’t it? I ain’t never heard nobody complain about the, uh, beer we have. It drink pretty good. Budweiser. What’s the names of some of them other beers?…”

Holmes is an advocate of isolationism when it comes to protecting American brews, and he is incredulous when told that the bill is part of a campaign by Germans. In the video below, you can hear Holmes indignantly ask, “Germany?” (In the second video, go to 5:20 to hear Holmes’ statement).
Yes, Mr. Holmes. Germany, the home of some of the finest beer in the world, and also the nation that is the ancestral home of most of the major United States beer companies founders, like Budweiser, Coors and Miller.
The group that sponsored the bill, the Free the Hops Foundation, was left all wet by Holmes’ line of questioning and forced to retire to Germany, as Holmes and his protectionist policies left Alabama residents deprived of foreign beer
Stuff Black People Don’t Like includes foreign beer, especially in the case of Mr. Holmes, but in the case of all Black people and their palates, for any form of alcohol is foreign to them. Never was alcohol created by Black people, so each sip they take reminds them of yet another foreign substance that someone else created.


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This entry was posted in Alabama, ALvin Holmes, beer, Black people. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to #91. Foreign Beer

  1. Anonymous says:

    I'm white, in fact I have the inherently racist name of Burmeister. My family is a proud line of immigrants from Germany and we came here with the sole purpose of keeping the black man down. We wander around in your dirty society with our evil blue eyes and our evil blond hair with no other intention other than the subjugation of our inferiors. We see no other way to spread the satisfation of our drink than to cause all of you dirty Americans to be subjugated to the call of her during all hours of you life. Whether it be work hours or not. Bow to us beer drinkers, Bow. BTW it really sucks that Budweiser is owned by the Frenchies and their even dirtier agenda.

  2. Anonymous says:

    It's true that you can't legally call a beer a beer if it has more than a certain percentage of alcohol (6%).That's why black folk love Malt Liquour so much – because it has a higer alcohol count.

  3. Anonymous says:

    wow do you really think a whole group of people can like or dislike something LOL you know nothing about black people HAHAHAHAHAHA

  4. Anonymous says:

    Not so fast! I live in Alabama, and the "Free the Hops" bill actually passed, despite the best efforts of Alvin Holmes and other nay-sayers in Montgomery. Just wanted to set the record straight.

  5. Anonymous says:

    "“What’s wrong with the beer we got? I mean, the beer we got drink pretty good, don’t it? I ain’t never heard nobody complain about the, uh, beer we have. It drink pretty good. Budweiser. What’s the names of some of them other beers?…”"Such literacy from a legislator – remind me to stay the hell OUT of Alabama!

  6. Lola Gets says:

    Um, I believe this statement is wrong:"continent of Africa and it's inhabitants never invented nor created any alcoholic drinks" Africans have been drinking an alcoholic beverage THEY MAKE out of the sap of the palm tree. Its called palm wine. If you google it, youll see it. Apparently it has less than 6% alcohol content, but if you drink enough of it, you will get drunk!L

  7. Anonymous says:

    If true, Lola Gets, how come it has never been exported to anywhere? The only thing Bantus in South Africa produced is that sewage called jenkem, so as to get a cheap high.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Yes, palm wine is made in Africa and Alvin Holmes sounds like an idiot! That being said, my white friends can drink me under the table any night of the week! Alcoholics come in all colors!

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