Congressman Hank Johnson, who represents Georgia’s Fourth Congressional District and serves in the House leadership as Regional Whip for the Southeast, issued the following statement upon passage in the U.S. House of Representatives of legislation reforming the nation’s health care and insurance system:
“Years from now, we will wonder what all the fuss was about,” said Johnson.
Like the irreplaceable Corrine Brown of the 3rd Congressional District from Florida, Black people have real leadership in Johnson.
Black people don’t like to pay for health care, and Congressman Hank Johnson helped eradicate that impediment to Black happiness.
Yet, he provided perhaps the most inadvertently, unintentional hilarious moment that will be difficult to ever (we mean EVER) replicate:
THE HONORABLE HENRY C. “HANK” JOHNSON JR, D-GA: This is a, ah, island that, at its bridest [sic] level, is what? 12 miles from shore to shore? And at its smallest level, ah, ah, oh, smallest, ah, aaahhhhh, location it’s, ah, 7 miles, ah, ah, between one shore and the other. Is zat correct?
ADMIRAL ROBERT WILLARD, USN: I don’t have the exact, ah, dimensions, but, ah, to your point, sir, I think Guam is a small island.
JOHNSON JR, D-GA: Very small island, and about 24 miles, if I recall, long. So twenty, twenty-fo’ miles long, about 7 miles wide at the least widest [sic], ah, place on the island, and about twinny, about twelf’ miles wide, ah, ah, on the widest part of da island. And, ahm, I don’ know how many square miles that that is – do you happen to know?
WILLARD, USN: I don’t have that, ah, figure with me, sir; I can certainly supply it to you if you’d like.
JOHNSON JR, D-GA: Yeah. Mah, mah fee-yuh is dat, ah, da whole island will, ah, become so overly populated dat it will tip ovah’, an’, ah, an’ capsize.
WILLARD, USN: Ah, we don’t anticipate that; the ah, the ah, Guam population I think currently about 175,000, and again with 8,000 Marines and their families it’s an addition of about 25,000, ah, more, ah, into the population.
JOHNSON JR, D-GA: And, ah, and also, ah, things like the, ah, environment, ah, the sessitive [sic] areas of, ah, the environment – coral reefs and those kinds of things – and I know dat, you know, lots of people don’t like to think about that, but, you know, when you think about global warming either [sic], and, ahhmmmm, now we do have to think about it, and so, ah, I’m concerned from an environmental standpoint, whether or not Guam is the, da’, da’ best place to do dis relocation, but it’s axually [sic] the only place, is that correct?
WILLARD, USN: Ah, this is the best place, this is the farthest west U.S. territory that we own, and, ah, you know, I, this is part of our nation. Ah, and in re-addressing the forward presence and posture importance, ah, to Pacific Command, ah, Guam is, ah, vital to this decision.
Yes, an elected member of Congress alluded to his great fear that the island of Guam would capsize like a sinking ship and eventual rest safely at the bottom at the sea, all due to a troop buildup.
An actual member of Congress thought that an island could capsize due to an influx of people (of course, if everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time, the earth would spin of its axis) and it wasn’t an April Fools Day joke.
SBPDL has only two words for the fear he has undoubtedly created among all citizens of small islands across the planet, as he has triggered a great pandemic among island-dwellers that their island could capsize at any moment: YOU LIE!!!
For years from now, the island of Guam will still be inhabited, no matter the population. And Johnson will still wonder what all the fuss is about.