Precedent Setting: Two Black Women Caught Stealing $2,400 Worth of Merchandise in their Body Fat

If trends hold, all Black women will be considered morbidly obese in 30 years

It has been stated here that unless trends change, 30 years from now all Black women will be considered morbidly obese. With Black women forgetting to pass on seconds at a rate that exceeds Black men paying child support, the future is increasingly turgid:

In the United States and other developed countries, where access to food isn’t usually a problem, poor people tend to be fatter than wealthy people, and Americans living in rural areas tend to be more obese than Americans living in inner cities. (In 2008, the five states with obesity rates of 30 percent or more were Alabama, Mississippi, Oklahoma, South Carolina, and Tennessee.) Black children are more at peril of becoming obese than white children; black women are more than 50 percent more likely to be obese than white women. “At the current rate of increase,” epidemiologists noted in a recent article in Obesity, “it will take less than 30 years for all black women to become overweight or obese.”

The cost to the United States in terms of mushrooming health care expenses will only be outpaced by the burgeoning waistlines of Black women and could lead to a new era of thievery, if evidence from a recent heist in Oklahoma is considered:

Two women are arrested for shoplifting and police say they used their bodies to conceal the goods. Edmond police authorities say it was at the Edmond TJ Maxx that loss prevention officers found the duo stuffing items under their belly fat and breasts.

They say they took four pair of boots, three pair of jeans, a wallet and gloves; $2,600 worth of store merchandise.

Ailene Brown, 28, and 37-year-old Shmeco Thomas were arrested for shoplifting and are facing felony charges.

Officer James Hamm said, “These two were actually concealing them in areas of their body where excess skin was, under their chest area and armpits.”

The utilization of excessive body fat to hide stolen wares from department stores should be a growing concern for store managers and stock holders concerned with maintaining a healthy bottom line, the exact opposite of what Black women nationwide seemed concerned with keeping healthy.

We have entered the brave new world of criminality, where white people dress up as Black people to rob banks and morbidly obese Black women hide stolen clothes, shoes and other amenities within their grotesquely swollen epidermis.

The sad thing is the two Black women suspected of stealing these goods probably looked just as corpulent walking into the store as they did upon leaving.

A precedent has been set in Oklahoma: obese Black women stealing items by hiding it in their body fat. Each day brings us one step closer to the realization of a nation completely full of portly Black women and the amount of clothes that can be concealed in their ever-engorging body mass could be limitless.




Stuff Black People Don't Like (formerly has moved to!
This entry was posted in obese. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s