Have it Your Way: Black Family Takes Burger King’s Moniker Literally

The story of a Black family robbing Burger King together is no whopper

We needed a laugh. The story of Carter Strange and the eight Black people who beat him to within an inch of his life – where only his hair made him recognizable to his mother – put us in a mood that no amount of weight lifting or running could hope to ameliorate.

This story is something out of South Africa or Zimbabwe, not a nation where we enjoy post-racial harmony courtesy of one Mein Obama. Of course, Unamusement Park has shown that Chicago is one police shooting away of a youth Mahogany Mob member from a riot that Twitter and other forms of social media will cause to go viral.

Indeed the level of violence and mob attacks has only risen since Mein Obama captured 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue – as Jim Goad pointed out – and we believe this summer is only getting started.

So courtesy of James Edwards (happy 31st), we bring a story that made us laugh in a way we haven’t since the hilarious Black bikini brawler of Panama City video first appeared on-line.

Burger King tells us all to “have it your way” and a Black family attempted to engage in a Bonnie ‘n’ Clyde style robbery that anyone would call of “whopper” of a tale if this video evidence didn’t exist:

Three relatives are charged in robbing the Burger King on Austin Peay. -One of them is an employee at the Burger King. -Their family members believe the employee was framed.

(Memphis 6/22/11) Three relatives were charged in a robbery of the Burger King near Raleigh Springs Mall Monday night.

One of them, 23-year-old Ashley Fitz, is an employee at the store.

In an affidavit, police said the other two involved named Ashley Fitz as an accomplice, who helped plan and execute the robbery. But her family does not believe that.

“She wouldn’t even steal a piece a candy! What is she going to go rob a place for, where she works at?” said Bettie Fitz, Ashley’s mother.

Family members describe Ashley as a hard-working person who volunteered for extra shifts. They believe her uncle, Tony Fitz, was the mastermind who framed Ashley.

Police said Tony Fitz walked into the Burger King Monday night and handed a note to Ashley, who was working then.

Ashley Fitz then handed the note to a co-worker, who instructed Ashley to comply with Tony’s demands.

Police said Ashley gave Tony about $1,400 from the cash registers and safe.

Ashley’s sister, Cartina Fitz-Childers, allegedly drove the getaway car.

“It makes me angry how Cartina would do her little baby sister like that,” said Loraine Fitz, their aunt.

Family members are shocked Ashley would be charged in this crime too, but are not at all surprised at Tony Fitz getting in trouble.

“He’s been going to jail for 16 years,” said Loraine Fitz.

With Ashley and Cartina both in jail, their mother now has to care for their combined seven children.

Their mother, Bettie, is waiting for real answers on what happened Monday night. She also said she’s extremely angry at Tony.

“I want to kill him, but I know it’s against the law. You know. I’d be in jail myself,” she said.

All three suspects are charged with robbery. Cartina Fitz-Childers is also charged with driving with a suspended license, speeding, and violation of financial law.

One has to guess that crime does run in the family. As austerity measures begin to hit and EBT/food stamp nation begins to cut back, one can only expect to see more people trying to have it their way by robbing Burger King’s, McDonald’s and other fast food joints for a couple hundred bucks. Of course fast food joints are pushing for people to be able use food stamps in their restaurants, so we’ll just have to wait and see.

More than likely it will be a family affair. 

By the way, tell James Edwards you want Paul Kersey back on his show. With Hollywood in Blackface out, and two more books scheduled to be published in the next two months (a sequel to HiB and one on college football and race) it’s safe to say it’s past time for a return trip to Edwards show.

Or, if you know of other radio shows you think we should try and get on, let us know or let them know.

 

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Stuff Black People Don't Like (formerly SBPDL.com) has moved to SBPDL.net!
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