Who Needs a "Doctor" when you can Call Dr. Triple A?

Speechless. Really. Speechless. 

Black people don’t like small butts. Across the world, Black people believe “miracle” procedures to enhance their god-given gluteus maximus to shockingly embarrassing gargantuan proportions will increase their chances of landing the right guy or break into the hip hop/rap video industry:

The British student who died after jetting to America for an illegal ‘butt enhancement’ operation thought having a shapelier backside would make her a Hip Hop star. 

Claudia Aderotimi, 20, believed a ‘bigger booty’ would help in her quest to appear in more music videos, her distraught friends have claimed.

In Newark, where hospitals are no stranger to Black victims of Black assailants who have placed bullets – largely unwarranted – into their body, six women tried to do some dry walling in their posterior:

Six women from the Essex County area who wanted fuller bottoms ended up in hospitals after receiving buttocks-enhancement injections containing the same material contractors use to caulk bathtubs, officials said. 

The women checked into hospitals in the county after their procedures, apparently administered by unlicensed providers, went horribly wrong, state health officials said. The women underwent surgery and were given antibiotics. No arrests have been made

Well, now a Black male – posing as a female – in Miami has had his burgeoning practice of buttocks enhancement shutdown:

A Miami Gardens transgender woman is facing charges of practicing medicine without a license after police say she injected a patient’s rear with everything but the kitchen sink in an illegal cosmetic surgery procedure. 

Oneal Ron Morris, 30, was arrested Friday after an investigation by Miami Gardens Police and the Florida Department of Health. 

According to police, the victim saw Morris in May and was injected in her buttocks with a substance consisting of cement, “Fix a Flat,” mineral oil and super glue. 

The amateur incision was then sealed with super glue, police said. The victim was later hospitalized with a serious medical condition as a result of the injections.

Somewhere, Alan Bakke is laughing.

View more videos at: http://nbcmiami.com.


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